I became coming from a community where it is not socially acceptable to say ‘Yes’ the 1st time one requires if you would like eating or whatever these include providing. Therefore, I was saying ‘No’ after which I was sleeping eager due to the fact I wasn’t speaking right up. Because the no one would offer me dining once again. Exactly as basic as this, I learned that I need to display and you may cam up from the my personal requires, wants and you may any kind of it is.

Greater independence was also reveal in the attraction countries’ gender norms. They were knowledgeable by many people professionals as often way more liberal compared to those within the Kosovo, where they sensed a force from community discover partnered and you may possess pupils, just like the Vjosa explained:

They require female to-be educated in the Kosovo, and they push all of them, you know, ‘Go wind up school!’ But then after they finish university, these are generally eg: ‘Ok, now you must so you can marry’. It is including he has got this trajectory San Diego, CA in USA girls hot ready in their eyes, in addition they have to follow it.

For other individuals, instance Vjosa, the feel of enjoying a complete a number of ‘untraditional’ members of the family habits in the usa, ranging from homosexual lovers and you may single couples so you can solitary parents otherwise lovers rather than students, are really important: ‘Female can just carry out what they want doing

It stood weighed against the brand new experiences that participants had in their attraction regions, in which women have been reduced confronted by stereotyped character designs from the different parts of society. It was experienced differently from the professionals. For Nora, for example simple one thing once the sports were ‘eye-opening’: ‘I remember, up until We decided to go to the united states, I didn’t be aware that there may are present a ladies’ basketball class. (…) I did not be aware that a lot of sports are starred by feminine groups plus men teams’.

She and discussed exactly how ladies in Sweden was basically freer about their love lifestyle

They might not get married anyway and it’s maybe not one to big a great deal or marry and get zero children’. It changed the new participants’ point of views on family lifestyle, just like the Ardita and you will Vjsoa correspondingly demonstrated it:

I gathered a good amount of rely on since the we within the Kosovo try elevated (. ) with the idea that need a person that you know. (…) The netherlands played an enormous role inside building it opinion that I am able to getting another lady. I don’t you need men in my own life.

We never notion of people [women] choosing to not have a household otherwise deciding to feel which have individuals to possess 30 years and never wed! (…) Once i ran indeed there, I noticed that you know, there is certainly lifetime as opposed to an infant, there clearly was lives versus relationships. And you can manage with only a partner, (…) as opposed to matrimony or relationship with no kids. Each one of these different alternatives altered my perspective.

Rozafa, such as, stated just how astonished she was that women and men was basically revealing leases within her scholar dorm during the Sweden. Centered on their particular, this would were unthinkable from inside the Kosovo, in which not just accommodations however, over buildings had been split up between feminine and you can guys. These people were not evaluated in the event the, for instance, they often times altered couples or liked night life. In Kosovo, she told you, instance actions would invariably trigger gossip. Jehona experienced it below:

My host cousin are very free to would any kind of. Far more independent. Like right here, such as for example, girls you to ages are not very allowed to stay aside later. Especially (…) my personal mom was a bit traditional in this regard. You know, such as meeting or sleepovers etc. Otherwise instance with an effective boyfriend at that ages is very inappropriate getting Kosovo. Then I was, including, 36 months otherwise couple of years avove the age of my servers sis and you will she already got an excellent boyfriend.